The worst question you could ask...

Ok...so, I know I should have a much better attitude than this, but I really can't help it...

My cousin got married last weekend and had such a beautiful wedding! (Congrats Lisa & Jeremy!) However, my sister warned her that as soon as she got married, it would start...the constant nagging and people asking "when are you going to have a baby?" It actually did start for her at the shower we went to. I just don't understand why people have to ask. It hurts. A lot for some people. I will explain...

When hubby and I were first married, we knew we wanted children, but in our timing. In God's timing. Not everyone else's. So, we made the decision that when we started trying to get pregnant, we weren't going to tell people we were trying. We still heard it from many people. It took us about a year and a half to get pregnant with Punky so we are so glad we didn't tell people! However, it did hurt when people were asking us when we were going to have one. We would just say "sometime!" and leave it at that, but it hurt that we really didn't know when or if it would happen.

We made the mistake of telling people this time that we are trying and it has taken over a year with no luck. Now, not only are we getting the question "when are you going to have another one?", but we are also getting, "you need to get working on a second one" or "Punky is getting pretty old..." OR people are now starting to give us tips as to how to get pregnant. It still hurts. It's not like we don't know how to get pregnant...we have had one child. So why is it such a big deal to people?

There is no good reason to ask someone when they are going to have kids. If they want kids, it means the timing isn't right or they can't get pregnant. If they don't want kids, then they don't want kids, and that should be okay too. Either way, it is uncomfortable and it hurts. I know someone who has no kids, but wants kids with all her heart, but has had a miscarriage (that she hasn't let anyone know about). People are constantly asking her when...when...when...and it hurts.

So, the next time you are about to ask someone that question, stop...think...maybe that person is going through something you don't know about and it may hurt them. Instead, pray for them...for the mother, for the couple, for the marriage, that God would give them children in His timing. If we are truly relying on Him, then we don't need to ask when when when. It will happen when it is supposed to. I have truly given our children (yes, the one we have, and the one(s) we hope to have) over to God. I have peace in my heart that it will happen when it is supposed to happen. I am excited to think about Punky being old enough to remember a new baby (I don't remember my sister as a baby)...to help care for it and love it...to protect it and be a good big sister example. I am glad we will be past the baby stage with one, so that the baby stage with the second is that much sweeter... And if it doesn't happen again, then I am abundantly thankful that I have one beautiful, healthy little girl, as there are others that don't have any.