The Waiting

So many times people think that for adoption, the hardest part is the mountain of paperwork you have to climb over before you can receive a child. While there is a lot of paperwork to deal with, to me, that is not the hardest part. The hardest part is the waiting. The knowing that you so desperately want a child and there is a child (or millions) of children out there that desperately want a home and family. I am not a patient person anyway, so I have a feeling one of the lessons God wants to teach me is patience...to wait on Him and his timing for my life and my family.

Well, I got impatient the other day. I was feeling down that we are in the "waiting" stage. Although I know I shouldn't, I occasionally go on agency websites to view pictures of waiting children. Heartbreaking. I have done it several times and always been sad, but this time was different. I saw a picture of a little baby girl and I instantly fell in love. I just stared at her for the longest time. I began to pray that she would be mine. I even went as far as contacting her home agency to find out more about her and let them know I was interested in her. I called Hubby at work and told him I found a little girl and wanted her.

It turned out, this little one had already been spoken for. I was happy that she had a home and would not get "forgotten" in the system. However, I had to take a look at myself and ask why I jumped on this so quickly. I forgot about the Philippines and our caseworker, our agency, our timeline and papers, our DCFS approval, the path we feel God has chosen for us. I decided I would take matters into my own hands.

I was sad for a few days, and I have to admit, I still have this little girl's picture on my computer. I keep it there as a reminder of what I'm about to share next.

Literally, not two days after this, I got an email devotional entitled "The Reason for the Wait" from A Word With You. Here is what it said...

Isn't it amazing how different your second child can be from your first child? Just when you think you've got this parent thing all figured out, God sends you a totally different kid. For example, food has always been sort of a necessary evil for our granddaughter. She can take it or leave it. Not her brother! Oh no! This kid is an eating machine. When he was still supposed to be only having milk, he was following every bite any of us put into our mouth as if to say, "So when do I get some of that stuff?" One day, his mom was mixing up his next meal, and he was watching and complaining. As she continued to get it ready, he continued to escalate his expressions of impatience and displeasure. By the time his food was ready, we were dealing with a very loud, very insistent protest.
Our grandson didn't have the words to say it, but he made his desires very clear as his food was being prepared, "I want my food, and I want it now!" It's a good thing his mother didn't give in. It wasn't ready yet! Believe me, it wouldn't have been good for him to get what he wanted when he wanted it. It would have been, in plain English, bleaaahhh!

I can't begin to count the times that I've been the same way with God about something I wanted or needed. "What's taking so long, God? I want it, and I want it now!" Maybe there's something you've been asking God for, trusting God for. And it's been a while, and it still hasn't come. You want it now, but there's a reason God isn't giving it to you now. It's not ready yet. And it would disappoint you if He gave it to you now.

Psalm 37, beginning with verse 5, tells us to: "Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this...Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him...Wait for the Lord and keep His way." There's the word that often stands between you and God's best - wait. Part of committing your way to the Lord, of trusting in Him, is to wait until God says it's ready; until God says you're ready. So many people are living today in the heartache of their own impatience. They couldn't wait, so they grabbed what they could have now. And it's been much less than what God was getting ready for them.

Look, you've been waiting for God to come through. You want to be married. You're waiting for Him to answer your prayer about having a child, raising a child. You're waiting for that job, that heart change, that breakthrough, that answer, and it hasn't come yet. Don't panic. Don't let impatience cost you the perfect will of God. Premature babies aren't as healthy as ones that are full-term. Premature solutions aren't healthy either. Wait until it's full-term. Remember the principle of Galatians 4:4, "In the fullness of time, God will," bring you your answer when it's ready. So stop whimpering, stop whining, stop trying to grab it before it's ready. If you insist on having it now, you're not going to like it!

Whoa! This hit me right where I needed it...I had never heard it put that way before, but God sent it exactly when I needed it. So, I would appreciate your prayers for patience, as I know this will be a very long process and I am sure at some point again, I will get impatient and want to take matters into my own hands. However, I keep looking at the picture of this little girl and realize that God has something even better, even more perfect for our family that he is formulating right now....and I just can't argue with that.

Shutterfly

OK. So I have heard from more than one friend now that Shutterfly is giving away 50 free cards...so I finally had time to get on and check it out for myself....it's true! You all should check it out here: http://blog.shutterfly.com/5358/holiday2010-blog-submission-form/

I love Shutterfly...they have the best designs, color schemes....just so creative. I would take one of each! It will be hard to decide what to pick for our holiday cards this year...I literally could spend hours on there looking through everything...and don't even get me started on the photo books....wow!

I cant' wait to look for our "birth announcement" when we finally get our baby's referral and bring our little one home!!!

Finally!

Finally it has arrived. We have finished all of the paperwork that our agency needs to approve us for adoption. All the forms, courses, online learning is done! Well, kinda...

Now we are working on our dossier, the bundle of forms and photos that we will put together to actually send to the Philippines. This is big. This is important. This is what the orphanage directors will see when they are trying to decide whether to choose us to receive a child. We would appreciate your prayers as we work on this and try to get it out quickly.

It is exciting to get one step closer to our little one coming home. However, we are getting to the hardest part...once our paperwork and dossier is submitted, the waiting begins...all is out of my control and I can't do anything to speed up the process. At least with the paperwork, I felt like I was doing something...now all I can do is wait on God's timing and pray for my little one so far away.

Another Family's Story

So the other night I decided to get on the internet to look up pictures of Philippine children. I came across a you tube video of another couple that took a video of themselves when they travelled there to pick up their son. I cried and cried and cried when I saw the images of these precious children and the way they are living...

This couple's little boy was laying in a chewed, worn wood crib with no mattress!!! Oh! My heart simply breaks as I imagine MY CHILD is probably already born and may be lying in a crib just like that.

I encourage you to watch this link if you can...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQ2uN2wv-_k&feature=related

Food

The other day, one of Hubby's friends returned home from a trip to the Philippines...he was so nice and brought us back some dried mangos (a Philippine specialty) and chocolates. Punky was so excited to show me when I got home from work! After showing me, she said, "but Mom, we can't eat this yet." I asked why and she said, "because we have to save it for when our baby gets here!"

Bless her heart! She thought that the child we get from the Philippines would have to eat Philippine food and she wanted to save it! I love the way this little girl thinks! Below is a picture we took of her with the treats to remember!

Books Books Books

Ok everyone, I need your help. If there are any books you have read lately that pertain to adoption, I would love to have your suggestions...I have ordered 2 that I can't wait to get and start reading but would like to constantly have something I am learning on this adoption process. So, send me your suggestions!!!

Locks of Love

I totally forgot to post this, but Punky got her hair cut! She wanted to donate her hair to Locks of Love, so we were waiting until she was in my friend's wedding and then we got it cut! So, I will show you some before and after pictures...she got a total of 10 inches cut off!!!

Baby Book

So I have been thinking a lot lately about the baby we will get (I say baby, it could be a two year old, but to us it will be a baby). When you're pregnant you prepare for the baby and take pictures of the "pregnant belly" and the baby showers and all of that fun stuff. Well, with this baby, there will be none of that. I look back at Punky's baby book/scrapbook and see pictures of all of that and it really started to get me thinking about what will I put in this baby's scrapbook. Yes, we will of course have pictures of the orphanage and the plane ride home, but I want more. I want this child to see that we prepared for them too. That we planned and anticipated just like with Punky. And with this one, we even had to work hard to get them here! So, I decided I am going to take pictures along the way. Hubby doesn't quite understand what I am feeling, but I think it is a mother's heart for her child ~ even though I don't know them yet!!

Well, last week we met with our caseworker and unexpectedly found ourselves downtown getting fingerprinted for our file. So, I decided to take some pictures of the event to capture yet one more thing we had to go through for our baby...it's not a belly or a shower, but it is one more step closer to getting him/her home and one more thing we prepared for them. It isn't much, but it will go in their scrapbook and we will always remember that day! So if I post some pictures along the way that seem insignificant, to you or me they may be, but someday they will mean something to our son or daughter in their baby book.

The Philippines!!!

Many people have asked where we are going to adopt from. We were so unclear as to the direction God wanted us to go...we heard another couple tell of their adoption experience and they too could not decide so they went two different routes...

The first route, of course, was domestic adoption. We have put our names in with my OB doctor here in town as well as with everyone we know...counselors, pastors, etc who may know of someone who wants to give up their baby for private adoption. Essentially, this mother would choose us to adopt her baby and we would go through the legal process together. We would not have to go through the foster care system (which I just don't think I could handle emotionally!) and it could be finalized fairly quickly. That is one option.

The second option is international adoption. We had narrowed the countries down to three: China, South Korea, and the Philippines. All we had heard about over and over and felt drawn to them in some way. Through someone we know we found our agency, Lifelink, and met with a caseworker. All three of these countries are options through Lifelink. However, we were told China is up to a 5 year wait and we took that as our answer that China was out for us (we liked China because of the almost certainty that we would get a very young girl). South Korea was a possibility, but it seemed very certain that we would get a boy. So, the Philippines struck us as the best choice for our family. I had seen several different things on TV about orphans in the Philippines as well as other things and now know God was slowly leading us in this direction.

At this time, we are taking both routes...which ever pans out first is the way we will go. We are confident God will lead our family to the child that is perfectly meant for us whether that be here in the USA or the Philippines!

Adoption!

Well, as most of you know by now we have decided to adopt. We have had a lot of questions so I thought I would try to answer some here in this blog and keep everyone up to date on our progress.

Hubby and I have been trying to have another baby for over three years. We have had some testing with our doctors and they have said to keep trying that it could happen anytime. But it hasn't. We truly feel that God has not allowed us to get pregnant so that we would follow Him in adoption. We want Punky to be a big sister (she will be so great at it!) and we know we could provide a good home and family to another child. So, that is our primary reason for adopting.

However, through all of our research and investigating on the different options and avenues we could go, we have really felt strongly that God commands all Christians to care for the orphans of the world. Currently, it is estimated that there are 147 million orphans worldwide...all children in need of parents, homes, siblings, love, caring, and some even basic necessities. We feel it is our responsibility as well as comission from God to care for orphans. James 1:27 says "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

I will continually be posting our feelings, desires, and needs throughout our journey and hope you will continue to read and share this blog with others. We covet your prayers and are excited to see what God is going to do in and through our family. He knows best and we are trusting fully in that.

How To Love A Child

be there. say yes as often as possible. let them bang on pots and pans. if they're crabby, put them in water. if they're unlovable, love yourself. realize how important it is to be a child. go to a movie theater in your pajamas. read books out loud with joy. invent pleasures together. remember how really small they are. giggle a lot. surprise them. say no when necessary. teach feelings. heal your own inner child. learn about parenting. hug a tree. make loving safe. bake a cak and eat it with no hands. go find elephants and kiss them. plan to build a rocketship. imagine yourself magic. make lots of forts with blankets. let your angel fly. reveal your own dreams. search out the positive. keep the gleam in your eye. mail letters to God. encourage silly. plant licorice in your garden. open up. STOP YELLING. express your love. a lot. speak kindly. paint their tennis shoes. handle with caring.

And I added...show them Jesus.

Children are miraculous.

She really is learning

So, Punky is in Cubbies/AWANA at church and I have kind of wondered if it is too much for her to have to learn Bible verses at such a young age, and if she really does retain and understand what she is learning. However, she likes going to it and I figure it can't hurt anything to learn about Jesus as much as possible!!!

So last night we said prayers right before bed and I asked her if she loved Jesus and she said yes. I asked her why (thinking maybe she didn't even know why) and she said "Because he loves me!" I was shocked! I asked her how she knew that and she said, "God loves us and sent his Son!" It melted my heart to hear her say that. She really is comprehending and learning what she is hearing....and the most important lesson of life that Jesus loves her and died for her. That is all I can ask.