So many times people think that for adoption, the hardest part is the mountain of paperwork you have to climb over before you can receive a child. While there is a lot of paperwork to deal with, to me, that is not the hardest part. The hardest part is the waiting. The knowing that you so desperately want a child and there is a child (or millions) of children out there that desperately want a home and family. I am not a patient person anyway, so I have a feeling one of the lessons God wants to teach me is patience...to wait on Him and his timing for my life and my family.
Well, I got impatient the other day. I was feeling down that we are in the "waiting" stage. Although I know I shouldn't, I occasionally go on agency websites to view pictures of waiting children. Heartbreaking. I have done it several times and always been sad, but this time was different. I saw a picture of a little baby girl and I instantly fell in love. I just stared at her for the longest time. I began to pray that she would be mine. I even went as far as contacting her home agency to find out more about her and let them know I was interested in her. I called Hubby at work and told him I found a little girl and wanted her.
It turned out, this little one had already been spoken for. I was happy that she had a home and would not get "forgotten" in the system. However, I had to take a look at myself and ask why I jumped on this so quickly. I forgot about the Philippines and our caseworker, our agency, our timeline and papers, our DCFS approval, the path we feel God has chosen for us. I decided I would take matters into my own hands.
I was sad for a few days, and I have to admit, I still have this little girl's picture on my computer. I keep it there as a reminder of what I'm about to share next.
Literally, not two days after this, I got an email devotional entitled "The Reason for the Wait" from A Word With You. Here is what it said...
Isn't it amazing how different your second child can be from your first child? Just when you think you've got this parent thing all figured out, God sends you a totally different kid. For example, food has always been sort of a necessary evil for our granddaughter. She can take it or leave it. Not her brother! Oh no! This kid is an eating machine. When he was still supposed to be only having milk, he was following every bite any of us put into our mouth as if to say, "So when do I get some of that stuff?" One day, his mom was mixing up his next meal, and he was watching and complaining. As she continued to get it ready, he continued to escalate his expressions of impatience and displeasure. By the time his food was ready, we were dealing with a very loud, very insistent protest.
Our grandson didn't have the words to say it, but he made his desires very clear as his food was being prepared, "I want my food, and I want it now!" It's a good thing his mother didn't give in. It wasn't ready yet! Believe me, it wouldn't have been good for him to get what he wanted when he wanted it. It would have been, in plain English, bleaaahhh!
I can't begin to count the times that I've been the same way with God about something I wanted or needed. "What's taking so long, God? I want it, and I want it now!" Maybe there's something you've been asking God for, trusting God for. And it's been a while, and it still hasn't come. You want it now, but there's a reason God isn't giving it to you now. It's not ready yet. And it would disappoint you if He gave it to you now.
Psalm 37, beginning with verse 5, tells us to: "Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this...Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him...Wait for the Lord and keep His way." There's the word that often stands between you and God's best - wait. Part of committing your way to the Lord, of trusting in Him, is to wait until God says it's ready; until God says you're ready. So many people are living today in the heartache of their own impatience. They couldn't wait, so they grabbed what they could have now. And it's been much less than what God was getting ready for them.
Look, you've been waiting for God to come through. You want to be married. You're waiting for Him to answer your prayer about having a child, raising a child. You're waiting for that job, that heart change, that breakthrough, that answer, and it hasn't come yet. Don't panic. Don't let impatience cost you the perfect will of God. Premature babies aren't as healthy as ones that are full-term. Premature solutions aren't healthy either. Wait until it's full-term. Remember the principle of Galatians 4:4, "In the fullness of time, God will," bring you your answer when it's ready. So stop whimpering, stop whining, stop trying to grab it before it's ready. If you insist on having it now, you're not going to like it!
Whoa! This hit me right where I needed it...I had never heard it put that way before, but God sent it exactly when I needed it. So, I would appreciate your prayers for patience, as I know this will be a very long process and I am sure at some point again, I will get impatient and want to take matters into my own hands. However, I keep looking at the picture of this little girl and realize that God has something even better, even more perfect for our family that he is formulating right now....and I just can't argue with that.
